Allyship Tips | April 24, Vol. 1

Building a community requires a willingness to learn about things you don’t know. These tips are meant to give practical ways to practice allyship & actively support inclusion & belonging.

DON’T TOUCH THEIR HAIR
Someone’s hair or any body part is not ours to touch. It’s disrespectful to think we have the right to do so, whether we ask first or not. If you see someone doing this, consider making the universal “time out” sign with your hands while saying, “Not cool.”

BOOST SOMEONE’S CREDIBILITY
A few years ago, “job titles don’t matter” was a trending topic on social media. The loudest voices seemed to be tech bros who didn’t feel they needed a title to be successful at their job. Yet, for people who are members of marginalized groups, titles can be critical. As Ask a Manager wrote, “Titles affect how much authority people perceive you as having. It can be helpful to have a title with some authority when you’re dealing with people outside of your company — it can give you more credibility and make people take you more seriously.”

Let’s not undermine our coworkers. Instead, let’s boost their credibility by introducing them with their titles.

PUSH BACK ON GATEKEEPING
A gatekeeper tries to exclude others from opportunities or keep them “in their place.” Often, it’s under the guise of knowing what’s best for someone else and being altruistic. For example, not recommending a parent with young children for a promotion because of all the travel. Or not inviting someone to a VIP dinner because they’re vegetarian and you’re eating at a steakhouse. Or insisting on giving a project update to an executive sponsor because your coworker is too busy.

If you spot gatekeeping, speak up. Perhaps by pointing out, “Isn’t that so-and-so’s decision to make?”

CLOSE THE AUTHORITY GAP
In her TEDWoman 2023 talk, author and journalist Mary Ann Sieghart explored the “authority gap,” pointing out that women are routinely underestimated, overlooked, interrupted, talked over, or mistaken for someone more junior at the workplace. She said, “We assume a man knows what he’s talking about until he proves otherwise. While for a woman, it’s all too often the other way round.”

Sieghart highlighted these research findings that show the farther we are from the white, male, middle-class default, the wider the authority gap is:

  • Men have six times more influence in group discussions than women.
  • Women are twice as likely as men to say they have to provide evidence of their competence or that people are surprised at their abilities. And women of color are much more likely than white women to say this.
  • If you’re working-class or living with a disability, the gap is even more significant

To close the authority gap, she recommends:

  • Flip things around. Ask yourself if you’d think or say the same thing if the person were a man.
  • Point out when someone repeats an idea a woman raised minutes before. “I’m so glad you agree with what Evie said earlier.”
  • Disrupt interruptions. “Hang on, I was really interested in what Rosa was saying there.”

List curated and adapted from Karen Catlin’s “Better Allies blog”