It’s Always The Season For Civility

I’m proud to be a lawyer! When my daughters question me about pretty much anything, I remind them that I have a J.D. When my youngest daughter needs help with geometry but is reluctant to take my help, I remind her that I have a J.D. My oldest daughter recently cut her foot on the pool deck but questioned my advice to apply Neosporin and a Band-Aid. My response was, “You know I have a J.D., right?” As my oldest daughter was preparing for an interview with a college swim coach, I told her, “I got you. After all, I’m trained as a lawyer,” although I will acknowledge that I am ill-equipped to give swimming advice.

My daughters know that my repeated references to having a J.D. are in jest – at least in part. I am, however, undeniably proud to be a lawyer. I consider it a privilege to be part of this noble profession. As Uncle Ben advised Peter Parker, however, “with great power, comes great responsibility.” As lawyers, we have the responsibility to act with civility and respect. This is a key issue I have asked our members to focus on this bar year.

Why are we focusing on civility? Time and again, over the last few years, I have heard stories of lawyers acting in a contrary manner. Is this really an issue for the legal profession in North Carolina, or is this just something that happens in “those other states?” Anecdotally, a number of our members seem to think it has recently become an issue here. Many of our section leaders and other leaders in the Association have shared with me some of the situations they have encountered and acknowledged that there is indeed a need to encourage and promote civility in the legal profession. One thing is for sure – we see these incidents happening more frequently than they used to happen and more frequently than they should.

Increased incidents of incivility within our profession are not terribly surprising, given there appears to be a decline in civility in our country as a whole. The ABA recently surveyed 1,000 individuals, asking their thoughts regarding civility in society and collaboration among government officials. The ABA survey shows that “85% of respondents believe that civility is worse than it was 10 years ago. About 29% blame social media, while 24% hold the media responsible, and 19% fault public officials.” Unfortunately, I doubt any of us are truly surprised by these results.

That does not mean it is acceptable. I frequently remind my daughters – “Just because everyone else is doing something, doesn’t mean you should.” To be sure, we are called to a higher standard. We have J.D.s, after all, and we are part of an honorable and noble profession, which requires us to engage with others with civility and respect.

If you are still questioning whether this is really a problem within our legal profession, I will share one encounter for analysis.

During a group meeting, Attorney A expressed that she was upset about a situation. She shared with the group that she was also upset because she had emailed Attorney B to inquire about the situation and had received no response to her email.

After the meeting, Attorney B was informed of Attorney A’s comments during the meeting and contacted Attorney A to discuss. Attorney B reminded her that Attorney B had indeed responded to Attorney A’s earlier email and had also asked to schedule a call to discuss. Attorney B again offered to talk with Attorney A regarding any questions or concerns she might have. There was no response from Attorney A.

Let’s issue spot for a minute.

  • The allegations made against Attorney B in the group meeting were not true.
  • Even if they had been true, was it professional to complain about Attorney B in a group setting, rather than following up with Attorney B individually to discuss?
  • Was there an obligation for Attorney A to respond to Attorney B or others and acknowledge her error after being reminded of the prior email from Attorney B?

We live in a world where there are so many wrongs happening all around us. There are political, social, and religious causes that outrage many of us, while also dividing others of us. Has this created a phenomenon in which individuals (including lawyers who are articulate and great issue spotters) are supercharged and poised to strike at every instance of perceived wrongdoing?

Is this type of behavior just an occupational hazard? I heard the excuse – after a lawyer called another lawyer a name during a Zoom meeting – “Well, he didn’t mean anything by it. He’s a lawyer who is used to being on his feet!” When did this become the acceptable standard for lawyers? We are held to a higher, not lower, standard due to our profession. We are called to set an example for younger lawyers, clients, and the public by demonstrating civility and professionalism as we zealously advocate for our clients and justice.

I write about this issue because these types of encounters are happening more frequently. Take heed, however, that there are also numerous examples of fine North Carolina lawyers continuing to engage with civility and respect, even in the most difficult and contentious of circumstances. After engaging with those lawyers, I leave feeling renewed and inspired. These encounters remind me how much I really enjoy being a lawyer and how proud I am to be part of the legal profession. As a profession, we must strive for civility and respect in all our interactions.

On that front, I am thankful that the NCBA Professionalism Committee, chaired by Gill Beck, continues to do important work in this area. The Professionalism Committee is partnering with our sections, committees, and divisions to provide education and resources to help promote civility and respect across the Association. On December 1, 2023, the Professionalism Committee will present a CLE, entitled “Professionals, Colleagues, Friends, and Adversaries – The Key Role of Civility in Attorney Relationships and Communications.” Please join us for this CLE.

I encourage you to also check out the posts published on LinkedIn by Kayla Britt, a/k/a “the Fairy Law Mother.” Kayla has posted reflections from LeAnn Nease Brown, Jimbo Perry, and Martha Bradley about what professionalism and civility mean to them. Their comments are excellent, and I look forward to reading the future posts that Kayla plans to share from others as part of her Wednesday reflections.

Lastly, I am thankful for all that our NCBA members and staff are doing (big and small) to encourage and promote civility in the profession. Let’s be proud to be lawyers!

Patti Ramseur serves as president of the North Carolina Bar Association and the North Carolina Bar Foundation.