Dispute Resolution Section Presents First Harmony Award to Deb Dilman
The NCBA Dispute Resolution Section honored Deborah Lynn (Deb) Dilman of Southpark Family Law in Charlotte on March 9 as the first recipient of the Harmony Award. The new award, which recognizes outstanding pro bono service by a member of the section, was presented by Pro Bono Committee Co-Chair Salim Ali Uqdah in conjunction with the section’s annual meeting and CLE at the N.C. Bar Center.
“This is quite an honor, and very humbling,” Dilman said. “I was thrilled to be the first recipient of the Harmony Award, so it was a very exciting day for me. All of my work for free paid off! But I do believe that we have been given a gift to become a lawyer and that we have a duty to give it back. Years ago, now retired Judge Jane Harper, who I was lunching with, validated my belief, when my firm was giving me a hard time about the pro bono hours, that we should give back.”
Dilman is a graduate of Queens University (1985) and Syracuse University College of Law (2003). A self-described second-career attorney, she has devoted a great deal of her time over the past two decades to serving those who cannot afford a lawyer.
“I was 39 when I entered law school,” Dilman said, “and before I went to law school I did a lot of work with various organizations in Charlotte, including Communities In Schools, Special Olympics, literacy programs at the library, and a variety of things.
“But when I started talking to my parents about potentially going to law school, it was with the idea that I would not be a practicing lawyer. I wanted to go to law school so I could come out and run a non-profit. At that time Save the Children was the big non-profit that really interested me, so that was my whole reason for going to law school.”
Deborah Dilman accepts Harmony Award from Salim Ali Uqdah.
Three years later, after completing law school and passing the bar, she had a fortuitous meeting with George Hausen, who was serving as executive director of Legal Aid of North Carolina.
“I told George what I wanted to do,” Dilman said, “and he said, ‘I think that’s great. At some point we’d love to have you if it works out. But let me give you some words of advice – you need to go learn how to be a good lawyer first, and then once you become a good lawyer, you can turn toward doing the non-profit work.’ And I thought that was really, really good advice.”
Dilman proceeded into the field of family law, and although she did consider moving into the non-profit sector a few years ago, she realized it was not financially feasible.
“At that point,” Dilman said, “I was living on the salary of a family law attorney and not that of a staff attorney at a non-profit, and we just couldn’t make the money work. So instead I have been dedicating as much of my time as I possibly could to doing various pro bono things, including committee work, which is also recognized as being part of pro bono work.
“I also serve on a board here in Charlotte that has a legal angle to it and is associated with Mecklenburg County, and that is the Council for Children’s Rights. I have been on their board for five years now and I am also a volunteer attorney with them and have been for years.”
Dilman also has provided pro bono service through Legal Aid of North Carolina and privately agrees to handle cases pro bono or “low bono.”
“I keep one pro bono case going all the time,” Dilman said. “I will have a big custody case going most of the time and then I take smaller ones in between. They can be real time-zappers, so I try to be mindful of that so that it doesn’t take away from my real day job.”
Dillman, who has worked for multiple firms in Charlotte and Raleigh, believes she has found the perfect fit at Southpark Family Law, which she joined in July 2020.
“I’m never going to say never,” Dilman said, “and over the last decade I have worked at really, really good firms. But the previous firms’ bread and butter was litigation work, which I have nothing against, but that is not how I wanted to direct my career. Working at these firms made it difficult for me to carve a niche in the non-litigation community, something that is different at Southpark Family Law.
“Working with Southpark Family Law, we make it very clear on our website and when folks talk to us that we look for solutions first and litigation last, and not the other way around. So it has been a really good fit for me, and I can do my mediations, which I really enjoy doing as well.”
Dilman is in fact a member of both the NCBA Family Law Section and the Dispute Resolution Section. Deb is currently the treasurer of the NCBA Dispute Resolution Section. She is a past president of the Charlotte Collaborative Divorce Professionals and a founding member of the NC Collaborative Attorney Network, where she served on their board until late last year.
She has also been a member of the NC Pro Bono Honor Society the past five years.
Russell Rawlings is director of external affairs and communications for the North Carolina Bar Association.