Writing That Works

Effective Sentence Structure: Back to Basics

Most of us first learned to write sentences in kindergarten or first grade. For me, that was a long time ago and many, many writing assignments ago. And over the years, what seemed simple then—subject, verb, object—got a little less simple. As I adapted my writing to please each new audience—the AP English exam grader, the college essay reader, the honors thesis adviser—my sentence structure became more complex. Those audiences looked for and rewarded that complexity.

Not surprisingly, my legal writing professor was less impressed by it. When I got my first memo assignment back, I realized all too clearly that I needed to go back to basics: subject, verb, object. Now, more than thirty years later, I still review every draft to make sure I’m structuring my sentences effectively, for my readers’ benefit. And I teach my students to do the same.

Teaching effective sentence structure is a bit challenging these days. Many law students did not learn formal grammar in high school or college, and terms such as subordinate clause, coordinating conjunction, and sentence fragment are unfamiliar. When I discuss sentence structure with my legal writing students, I try not to overload them with grammar technicalities; instead, I share some key principles, which I offer to you here.[1]

First, the basics:

  • A clause is a group of words that contains both a subject and a verb.
  • A sentence is an independent clause; it expresses a complete thought and thus can stand alone.
  • There are three main sentence types.
    • A simple sentence: one independent clause with a subject and a predicate.
      Example: The jury rendered its verdict.
    • A compound sentence: two or more independent clauses joined by a coordinating conjunction (and, but, so, or, nor, yet, for).
      Example: The jury rendered its verdict, and the courtroom erupted.
    • A complex sentence: one independent clause and at least one dependent clause. A dependent clause is a group of words with a subject and predicate that does not express a complete thought and thus cannot stand alone.
      Example: When the jury rendered its verdict, the courtroom erupted.
    • A compound-complex sentence: two independent clauses and at least one dependent clause.
      Example: The Board approved the contract, as we predicted it would, and we are ready to move forward with construction of the new facility.Example: The Board approved the contract, as we predicted it would, and we are ready to move forward with construction of the new facility.

In legal writing, a thoughtful combination of these sentence types often yields the best result. Using too many simple sentences produces choppy writing; using too many compound, complex, or compound-complex sentences produces bulky writing that can make it harder for the reader to process the information.

Consider the following examples:

Too choppy: The trial is set for Monday. Paula will sit first chair. She has more courtroom experience. Max will sit second chair. He has a deeper understanding of the nuances of the case. Paula and Max make a great team.

Too bulky: The trial is set for Monday, and Paula will sit first chair because she has more courtroom experience, while Max, who has a deeper understanding of the nuances of the case, will sit second chair, and he and Paula will make a great team.

Just right: Paula will sit first chair at the trial, which is set for Monday, because she more courtroom experience. Max will sit second chair; he has a deeper understanding of the nuances of the case. Together, they make a great team.

Whether you are writing a simple sentence, a compound sentence, or a complex sentence, make sure to keep the subject and verb together in each clause. Don’t insert a lengthy dependent clause in between the subject and verb of the dependent clause.

Problem: My client, though he repeatedly said he wished to testify, ultimately decided not to take the stand.

Fix: Though he repeatedly said he wished to testify, my client ultimately decided not to take the stand.

A number of readability problems can arise when our sentence structure is incorrect or poor. Here are some of the common problems and some suggested fixes:

  1. Sentence fragments. A sentence fragment is an incomplete sentence; the sentence either (1) lacks a subject or verb or (2) contains only a dependent clause. In advanced writing, the latter is by far the more common type of sentence fragment. That type of fragment can be fixed by either joining the rogue dependent clause with an independent clause or by converting the dependent clause into an independent clause.

Problem: The jurors denied my client any recovery for her injuries in the accident. Because they found that she was contributorily negligent.
Fix: The jurors denied my client any recovery for her injuries because they found her contributorily negligent.
Fix: The jurors denied my client any recovery for her injuries. They found her contributorily negligent.
Better fix: The jurors found my client contributorily negligent; thus, she was not entitled to any recovery.

  1. Run-on sentences. A run-on sentence contains two or more independent clauses (complete sentences) joined incorrectly by missing punctuation, a missing connecting word, or both. There is a common misperception that run-on sentences are always long; in fact, a run-on sentence can be fairly short (and conversely, a correctly structured and punctuated sentence can be quite long). There are two types of run-on sentences: fused sentences and comma splices. A fused sentence contains two independent clauses with no punctuation. A comma splice occurs when (1) two independent clauses are joined by only a comma, with no coordinating conjunction, or (2) when a comma is used before a conjunctive adverb (however, therefore, moreover, nonetheless) that connects two independent clauses. In advanced writing, the comma splice is more common than the fused sentence.

Problem: The experiment failed it had been left unobserved for too long.
Fix: The experiment failed; it had been left unobserved for too long.
Fix: The experiment failed because it had been left unobserved for too long.

Problem: The defendant fled the scene, he then engaged officers in a high-speed chase on the highway during rush hour.
Fix: The defendant fled the scene; he then engaged officers in a high-speed chase on the highway during rush hour.

Problem: He wasn’t prepared to defend a client who was guilty, however, he could be persuaded to accept a bribe.
Fix: He wasn’t prepared to defend a client who was guilty; however, he could be persuaded to accept a bribe.

  1. Loose sentences. A loose sentence occurs when the main (independent) clause is followed by many phrases and clauses that add information but are in no particular order.

Problem: We got the contract, and we must be ready by June 1 with the necessary personnel and equipment to get the job done, so with this in mind a staff meeting, which all group managers are expected to attend, is scheduled for February 12.
Fix: We got the contract, and we must be ready by June 1 with the necessary personnel and equipment to get the job done. With this in mind, a staff meeting is scheduled for February 12, and all group managers are expected to attend.
NOTE: In addition to splitting the loose sentence into two sentences, this fix keeps the subject and verb of the second sentence together, for even greater readability.

  1. Sentences with inappropriate or excessive coordination. Inappropriate coordination occurs when you default to and as a coordinating conjunction when other conjunctions would convey a more precise meaning. Excessive coordination occurs when several clauses are joined by coordinating conjunctions. If you are trying to correct choppy sentences by joining them, be careful that you do not end up with excessive coordination instead.

Problem: John had a weight problem, and he quit exercising.
Fix: John had a weight problem, so he quit exercising.
John had a weight problem, because he quit exercising.

Problem: Roses are a popular flower, and they are difficult to grow, so many people choose to purchase them as cut flowers instead, but that can be expensive.
Bad fix: Roses are a popular flower. They are difficult to grow. Thus, many people choose to purchase them as cut flowers instead. But that can be expensive. [The fix results in a string of choppy sentences.]
Good fix: Roses are a popular flower, but they are difficult to grow. Thus, although it is expensive, many people choose to purchase them as cut flowers instead.

  1. Excessive subordination. Excessive subordination occurs when a several simple sentences are joined together with subordinating conjunctions (because, that, which, after, if,). Excessive subordination is problematic because the reader may not be able to discern how the parts of the sentence are related. Sometimes excessive coordination occurs when you try to correct choppy sentences by joining them.

Problem: Angela thought she was prepared for the February bar exam but she failed meaning that she can take it again in July which she doesn’t want to do because her bar prep will conflict with her summer job.
Fix: Angela thought she was prepared for the February bar exam, but she failed it. Although she can take it again in July, she doesn’t want to do that, because her bar prep will conflict with her summer job.

I often remind my students (and myself) that in the drafting phase of any writing project, perfection should not be the goal. So it’s okay if some of the sentences in your draft are a little awkwardly constructed. But in the revising and editing phases, addressing awkward or incorrect sentence structure should be high on your checklist. Your reader will thank you for making effective sentence structure a priority!

Laura Graham serves as Professor of Legal Writing and Director of Legal Analysis, Writing, and Research at Wake Forest University School of Law, where she has been teaching since 1999. She was the first recipient of the law school’s Graham Award for Excellence in Teaching Legal Research and Writing, which is named in her honor, and currently serves as immediate past president of the Association of Legal Writing Directors. Graham is a graduate of Wake Forest University and Wake Forest University School of Law.

[1] I am indebted to the University of Guelph McLaughlin Library for many of the explanations and examples in this column. You can find the full article about sentence structure, as well as many other good articles on grammar, here. Another very helpful grammar website is Purdue’s Online Writing Lab (OWL); its section on sentence structure is here.